Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
