I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
worst night to have a conscience
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
