I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
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