She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
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