is your mom at the bar?
one two three fourrrrnication!
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Randomize