I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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