you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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