Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
