and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
operation have a gay friend backfired
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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