I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
The beer is more important than you right now.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
