I want to make a zoo with you.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
