just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
