She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
it glows. i had to have it.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
