as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help