The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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