Texts From Last Night

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  (773): View more from Illinois

  i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about

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  (773): i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about http://tfl.nu/411c
  Replies (24) Good night (1158) Bad night (756)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.

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  (281): I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in. http://tfl.nu/ql5b
  Replies (15) Good night (3852) Bad night (695)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.

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  (608): If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome. http://tfl.nu/khdb
  Replies (70) Good night (3937) Bad night (833)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?

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  (701): does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat? http://tfl.nu/hd1u
  Replies (56) Good night (7138) Bad night (2237)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time

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  (817): You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time http://tfl.nu/ixfn
  Replies (44) Good night (7500) Bad night (4165)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  ...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks

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  (804): ...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks http://tfl.nu/unmu
  Replies (19) Good night (3533) Bad night (1058)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.

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  (612): She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me. http://tfl.nu/y2d7
  Replies (5) Good night (1421) Bad night (2224)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.

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  (479): I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast. http://tfl.nu/j7ef
  Replies (14) Good night (4873) Bad night (1206)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.

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  (403): My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind. http://tfl.nu/y5d8
  Replies (15) Good night (4196) Bad night (987)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.

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  (312): I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises. http://tfl.nu/7cml
  Replies (18) Good night (2020) Bad night (642)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.

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  (203): what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame. http://tfl.nu/l6g2
  Replies (9) Good night (1398) Bad night (1088)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.

  (426): View more from

  So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.

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  (607): Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy. (426): So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee. http://tfl.nu/cx81
  Replies (12) Good night (3297) Bad night (648)
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  (585): View more from New York

  Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.

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  (585): Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings. http://tfl.nu/zv1f
  Replies (0) Good night (749) Bad night (346)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan

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  (770): You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan http://tfl.nu/kbvj
  Replies (1) Good night (646) Bad night (396)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that

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  (775): I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that http://tfl.nu/rttq
  Replies (1) Good night (433) Bad night (539)

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