Texts From Last Night

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  (810): View more from Michigan

  Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.

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  (810): Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time. http://tfl.nu/rbpy
  Replies (6) Good night (782) Bad night (1961) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!

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  (914): Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?! http://tfl.nu/ay46
  Replies (20) Good night (2211) Bad night (773) Order T-Shirt
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts

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  (337): thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts http://tfl.nu/kmf7
  Replies (16) Good night (597) Bad night (3228) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.

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  (512): Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks. http://tfl.nu/o3m2
  Replies (13) Good night (434) Bad night (3276) Order T-Shirt
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.

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  (217): we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself. http://tfl.nu/xzvt
  Replies (74) Good night (824) Bad night (4877) Order T-Shirt
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  (209): View more from California

  kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.

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  (209): kindergarten is hard when you're hung over. http://tfl.nu/68v6
  Replies (23) Good night (5201) Bad night (799) Order T-Shirt
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...

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  (314): I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning... http://tfl.nu/4oxc
  Replies (27) Good night (898) Bad night (4087) Order T-Shirt
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.

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  (908): a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester. http://tfl.nu/e11n
  Replies (52) Good night (3986) Bad night (491) Order T-Shirt
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.

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  (615): You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove. http://tfl.nu/nj9j
  Replies (42) Good night (5656) Bad night (713) Order T-Shirt
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.

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  (205): Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga. http://tfl.nu/3ybq
  Replies (13) Good night (4770) Bad night (823) Order T-Shirt
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  (206): View more from Washington

  He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.

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  (206): He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go. http://tfl.nu/rhri
  Replies (13) Good night (2011) Bad night (3502) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks

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  (412): I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks http://tfl.nu/tkbs
  Replies (6) Good night (1435) Bad night (484) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.

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  (703): Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything. http://tfl.nu/6ga5
  Replies (12) Good night (2225) Bad night (574) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.

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  (914): She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head. http://tfl.nu/hrvg
  Replies (5) Good night (1447) Bad night (422) Order T-Shirt
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  (210): View more from Texas

  I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.

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  (210): I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers. http://tfl.nu/eiw9
  Replies (8) Good night (1609) Bad night (541) Order T-Shirt

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