K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.