This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.