she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
