my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
