what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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