I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
