ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
