Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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