I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
You have to summon your inner elephant
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
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