You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
she smelled like a LAN party
Farmville is her only friend.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
He? As in you personified your dick?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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