did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Randomize
