Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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