In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Randomize