my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
