Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Terrible idea I love it
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
