Your dad touched me again.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
