Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
There's always time for handjobs
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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