I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize