I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
