wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
