He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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