I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
