I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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