Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
