i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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