I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
