Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Randomize
