No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
