she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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