that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
