Taylor Swift is so right about you.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
