the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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