I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize