have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
