If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
