just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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