If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
