he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Come on in and take your pants off
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