we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize