but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
