I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
