it was like eating out sand paper
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
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