I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
