your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
