Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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