There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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