I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
