But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
