if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
