Im at strip club and am horny
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
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The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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