I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
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He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
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I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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