Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
