ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
